20 Something with A Full Life Ahead of Me, Why Do I Feel Like I Don’t Measure Up?

Do you ever find yourself scrolling down your newsfeed on social media and feeling like Wow, what am I really doing with my life? Everybody else’s feed becomes the standard for your life.

It’s almost an inevitable feeling of comparison in this generation where we’re constantly being reminded of what’s going on in everyone else’s life … how precious someone’s wedding is, or how dope your friends new sports car looks, or how curvy your friend from high school is in that photo shoot she just posted to Instagram an hour ago.

Always remember that your life is meaningful, no matter what other people decide to flaunt on social media. – LaMonica

At one time or another, we’ve all fallen victim to the comparison phenomenon. Sit there and unconsciously pick yourself apart for lacking something that another person has.  It’s almost like we know that we shouldn’t do it but how can we side step it when everyone else’s life is being thrown in our faces 24/7. We’re bombarded with relationship statuses updates, new life events, vacations and everything in between. It’s pretty much on stage for us to Ooooo and Ahhhh at. Inevitably, sometimes as humans you end up asking the question, why not me?

What’s funny about the whole idea of this social media anxiety as that behind most of it is just a bunch of true unhappiness and need for approval. Trust me, there is much more to a person than what they decide to share on Facebook and Instagram. It’s all filtered. (no pun intended.)

Think about it, some of the most genuinely happy people that you and I know probably don’t even spend a lot of time consumed by social media. They’re out truly living their own lives, completely unaware of what car someone on their friendslist just bought or where their friends from high school are going for Spring Break.

Sometime last year, I had the idea of a social media fast. I had gotten so sick of keeping up with The Jones’ via social media and took a complete break from it all. It was becoming too much of a time waster and I too often found myself almost in a state of depression from wishing I had “this and that” or worrying about things that had nothing at all the do with me or my life.

After cutting social media to the most minimal use I could manage to (a couple scrolls up and down Fb/Ig per day) I immediately noticed a difference in my overall mood and how I felt about myself.

Ever since then, I knew that I needed to consume social media in moderation. Basically, consuming in small manageable portions just like my food. Too much of something can truly become a bad thing, social media isn’t an exception. Not only did I cut down on the amount of time spent on things like Facebook and Instagram; I also decided to cleanse my friends and following lists.

If I found a page that wasn’t someone I cared about or someone that I truly looked up to and felt that their presence on my followers list was legit not benefiting me, I simply hit the unfollow button. This alone has been a huge difference maker. I stopped following people who simply posts pictures of new Chanel bag or trips out of the country only to impress their friends list or seem more important than they actually are.

Now, with that being said, I don’t want it to come off as if it’s absolutely bad to post things like this online, because we all like to post things we are proud of, no? The idea is not allowing yourself to compare what you have with that of another person. That’s what leads to becoming bitter and jealous. There’s plenty of room for everyone to shine. You don’t have to stack up or envy what someone else is doing, it’s just not worth it for several reasons:

  1. What’s for you is for you and what’s for them is for them. Be patient, your time is coming trust me.

  2. Trying to measure up to someone else is a sure fire way to depress your true self because you don’t truly know what their success entails.

You’re young and vibrant, with so much in store for yourself. Don’t allow social media to make you feel inadequate because you may still live at home with your parents or work a certain job. Life is a journey all your own. We go through it at our own pace and face our own unique challenges that ultimately make us who we are. If you’re not where you want to be yet, just continue to gain clarity on where it is you want to go and bust your butt til you get there and ask yourself “Wow, so where to next?”

I’m still inching through this life as well, learning along the way and I do truly hope that this post helps you realize how there’s no right or wrong way or certain timeline you should be going by in life. Social media is one of those things that have created the illusion that we should be measuring our life relative to the other people we follow.

Once you stop following and begin to live, you’ll start to see how truly great you already are.

Love, Lamonica

LaMonica Evans is a 25 year old commercial real estate agent that blogs, runs a internet marketing agency, fitness trains, and loves to empower other young millennial women such as herself to live life to its very fullest! Her personal blog is focused on fitness, finance & travel for young adult women. You can learn more about her & her lifestyle blog at: www.lamonicaevans.com